Imperfections..

Had an urge to blog.. or rant.

Hmm.. a friend of mine just got through a broke up and they are now back together. Both of them are our friends. We did not know what else to do except support. It was quite scary as it seemed to me that the girl cannot think, would not accept anything and never listen to anyone. She planned to leave the country coz everything here reminded her of the boyfriend. Well.. it is understandable. It is just too hard and sudden for her. They had been together for 8 years. I’m glad they are back together.

I do not know much about love or relationship. I’ve only be in a relationship once. A short one. (Don’t even know should it be called ‘in relationship’. Lol!) One thing I know about love. There is no PERFECT love.

What is perfect love? Define perfect love. Anyone?

Families, friends, colleagues, strangers, scandals, sex. All affect what love means.

A friend recently translated a Chinese FB status to me. It goes something like “..happiness is like a cert. a third party is a test. It is good to have third party. If she/he decides to leave you, there isn’t any reason to stay” Well…. I agree with that. Why make him/her stays when his/her heart is already elsewhere, right? My friend got back together with the boyfriend. But she never set free what had happened and always feeling down. She is very questionable of what happened and why did it happen? I always wanted to tell my ‘that’ friend that there are a lot of bumps in our lives. Treat what happened as a ‘bump’. We shouldn’t take EVERYTHING so negatively and paranoid about the whole situation. Life is like a long road. There are no perfectly smooth roads in this world. One may encounter bumps. Small bump but sharp, big bumps but flat or few bumps together; sharp and flat. One may also encounter lope holes, cracked roads, uneven roads and slippery roads. And like they say, “If she/he decides to leave you, there isn’t any reason to stay”. Now they are back together, I wish them the best!!

Third party. According to some ‘tom’, ‘dick’ and ‘harry’, they said third party is sometimes good for a relationship as it tests the strength of a relationship. Ok ok. I agree. But I will not prefer a third party in my relationship. Who will in fact? Who? But that is what the world trying to implement. WTH?

Words kill and although words are as sharp as knifes, we must remember one thing. Always put in mind that words that came out from an individual’s mouth might not what he/she really meant. There are too many factors in this world that will affect how a person feels, acts and says. The world is too dynamic. All sorts of thing can happen. We might not know the reason why words are expressed that particular way. We cannot control what a person might say to us, but if that happens we must not let it got too somber in us that it affects whatever we do. I know it is always easier to say than get it done. We’ll try.

I, myself had had the same feeling before. I have received harsh or ‘impolite’ words from so many people I’m close too; friends and even family. It hurts. So deeply. I got so angry so frustrated I kept it in myself for so long (u cannot even imagine how long) it became part of me. Whatever I said, that ‘harsh words’ will be one of the factor that push me to say something I actually never meant to. It is bad. It makes me think that no one loves me. Not even god. I let it burdened me so much, and without realization I put myself as a second choice or a float to everyone around me. For example, if I was given something or someone favour me, it must be no one else out there, I must be the last of the last choice. It was a really sucks to feel that way. All these time I felt that way, it brought down all my confidence and cheerfulness. I felt solemn and gloomy inside. No one notice coz I hide it very well. I would cry in the shower and pretends everything is fine and blissful after that. People have known me as a happy-go-lucky person. And as time passed by, I learn that all the harsh words from friends/family, no matter how harsh it is, they may don’t mean it. They might say things in that way due to anger or stress, who knows what else. Time heals. I let it go. I say BYE BYE! I am ME again.

People asked, “Why did he/she say that to me?” “I can’t believe that came out from his/her mouth”.. Put it this way. Do not let it affect you so much. For those who broke up and patch back after that, do not forget what he/she said. Remember them and learn from it. However, never… never let it burden you. And to everyone, remember words kill. Wrongly spoken words could kill a person or affect his/her whole life. It will ruin one’s life if one takes it too seriously. U cannot imagine how worried we were when our dear friend said she did not know what to do but to resign the next day and leave the country. Boyfriend left her, and her world collapsed. She can’t stand. We were so worried. I am sure there are a lot of people who will do the same thing if this happened to them.

I am probably not the most suitable person to advise/comment about relationships and love coz I am not in one or I’m not in their position. Though, people are always wiser and able to think properly if they are not affected by strong emotions. Agree?